"Hello, hello, hello!"
"It is me. You're greatest backyard kid!"
Today my friend Syd and I danced around my room on our big toes. I sang out loud, "I'm going to my Abuela's house; myyyyyy buela's house; I luuuuuvvvv my buela."
Syd stopped dancing. "Why do you like her so much, anyway?" she asked. I giggled, "Because she gets most everything for me."
"Oh, yeah?" Syd mused, "Bet she didn't get you a pig." "Nope, she did not," I replied with a nonchalant sigh followed by a yawn.
"Hump," Syd grunted. "Did she get you a bear from the zoo?" I rolled my eyes and in a convincing tone said, "Well, Syd, a long time ago my Abuela stuffed this giant brown bear in her back seat."
"Oh, really?" Syd questioned with a smirk on her face, but I responded with direct and frank honesty.
"Then her car tipped over. Abuela reached over and opened the back door to let the bear out, but it got stuck. It wriggled and wriggled just like my Abuela when she tries to put on her skinny britches.”
“Sure 'nuf, finally that bear worked it's leg free. My Abuela shouted, ‘You take care Mr. Bear and maybe we'll see you again some day.’ He slammed our door, waved goodbye, and skipped down the road!"
Syd crossed her arms, stuck out her hip, and curled her top lip. I nevertheless continued.
"Once she took me to a water park, too, and while we were rowing in the lake, an orange and black goldfish swam up."
I wondered why an orange fish is called gold? Maybe it works at the bank 'cause a lot of gold is kept there. Least that's what my gramps told me when he went to get some so he could plant wheat. I thought about it, then asked, "Syd, do you know why wheat likes gold?"
Syd said, "Naaawwww. Never heard of that. Besides, banks don't give away gold -- no way! Don't even have any. Only have a bunch of paper to print your name on, then it gives you some money. That's how it works. Nutin to it."
I envisioned rooms filled with legos, ice cream, and roller skates. "You mean the bank will pay me money to write my name?"
Syd puffed her cheeks, grabbed her head, then let out a whistle sound. She acts that way ‘cause she thinks she is smarter than me.
"Yep. That's it in a nutshell,” Syd groaned. “Some names are worth more than others, though" she added.
Curious, I asked, "How does the bank know which name is worth more?"
Syd kicked at a rock under the porch. "See, it's like this. If yaw name is Becky, Ronnie, Donald or John, you only get ‘bout fifty cents. But if yaw name is Chloe, Keelan, Ella, or Zane you'd get a whole dolla."
Confused, I scratched my ear then went back to telling my fish tale.
"So, then out of nowhere came a shrill voice, 'Got room for another?'"
"My buela looked down in the water, shrugged, and nodded. 'Sure do. You jump right up. Always room for one more.'"
"Fish, who was a bit smelly, flipped out of the water and flopped on to the seat next to me."
"Hummmm," Syd made a sound which indicated that she was unimpressed with everything I had told her, "I bet she never in a million years would take you to a circus."
"My Abuela does everything for me," I defended. "A circus? She sure did!”
“Once she even bought me my own clown. He drove a funny little car. His lips were big as a hippopotamus. He was wearing Bigfoot's shoes! His hair was orange and needed to be combed. Boss, that was his name, wore red stripped bloomers and blew up balloons. Then he twisted them to make cats, dogs, and birds."
"He had a sidekick, too, named ShortStuff who ran around in circles."
"Boss made up a riddle."
Boss: 'Knock, knock.'
ShortStuff: 'Who's there?'
Boss: 'Banana'
ShortStuff: 'Banana, who?'
Boss: 'Banana'
ShortStuff: 'Banana, who?'
Boss: 'Orange you glad I didn't say banana, again?'
"Abuela laughed so much her eyes watered and she had to blow her nose."
Syd's elbow was propped against the fence. She leaned into her hand while she listened. Her face wrinkled as she pushed her glasses back in place.
Finally, she broke the silence. "I don't think everything you told me is true but do you wanna go climb the cherry tree?"
© Coninc, TheBackYardKids.com, Short Stories For Short Folk (Library of Congress 1-147158261, pending)
